The Kind Of Man Women Find Attractive
October 20, 2012 | Mark Cunningham
In part 3 of this six-part interview series Mark Cunningham covers topics such as
- Seduction secrets hidden in romance novels
- How to be the kind of guy women find attractive
- Why men need to have female friends
- Shortcomings of the modern seduction community
You can either listen using the player or read the transcript below.
Mark Cunningham interview Part 3 of 6
Mark Cunningham: It’s also true that… well, it’s my truth that modern man don’t have much of a clue about just sucking it up, growing on your own resources, stepping out of that resource poor state, and just getting the job done.
In the military, we have this thing called maintaining the mission, which is no matter what happens, or no matter how much crap is raining down from heaven above, you still must get the job done. They’d also beaten into our head which is something which I still live by, which is there may be reasons, but there are never excuses.
There is always some reason why you are not moving as fast or getting as far or achieving as much as you wanted to, but there is never an excuse, you just pick yourself up and find another way to actually get the job done. So those two questions are really pointed as exactly at the same guys.
Frank: Now, you talk about what it is you do to make yourself that guy, that kind of guy that women will open up with, that kind of guy that women will talk to as if you are just one of the girls, never forgetting however that you are a man.
Mark Cunningham: Oh yeah.
Frank: Can you give me some specifics, something specific that a man can model, something that he can emulate to become that guy that women will open up to on that level?
Mark Cunningham: Well, actually, if you want the quick and dirty rule, what you need to do is go down to your neighborhood bookstore, talk to the clerks and say, “What’s your top selling romance title?” Take it home and try to figure out what the hell they are talking about. The first time you read through it, it’s like a thin code, but as you just go through there and soak it up and try to understand from a woman’s point of view, you’ll find that they are all about men that they consider a great challenge.
He’s someone who is very masculine, someone who is on their way, has their own life, who doesn’t really need a woman, holding them at arm length, but also takes them very seriously and pays a lot of attention.
He’s someone who the woman can pour their heart out to and know that they are going to be treated fairly and openly. It’s not someone who is going to be catering to women. I mean, as soon as they’ve set conditions like one of the girls I’ve talked, “Oh, boy, the boys are going to understand or not going to understand that one.”
But the thing is women love to talk. They love to talk emotions. So they love to talk about themselves, and when they find a man who’s willing to listen, who remembers what it is they just said and feeds it back to them, they just go nuts. It’s like throwing raw meat in front of a Doberman.
Frank: Okay. So basically, read the romance novels and model the main top male characters there.
Mark Cunningham: That would certainly be a good start. You also want to get yourself a woman who is a friend, not someone who you are trying to drag off into bed, not someone you’re trying to scam, but someone who is actually going to talk to you, and she will tell you about clothes.
She will talk to you about how to talk to women, what’s important. She will tell you which women are good for you, which aren’t, which ones are really available as opposed to the ones who say they are available or say they are not available. I mean, once a guy gets at least one good female friend, he’s definitely on his way.
Frank: Female friends, a real point of tension here for a number of men because they have lots of female friends who they end up falling in love with, who just keeps saying, “No, I just want to be your friend,” or getting rejected.
Some seduction gurus have certain attitudes that there is no such thing as a female friend. Other seduction gurus talk about how a female friend is one who helps you meet other women, otherwise, she’s not your friend. The word “female friend,” when I say that though, that combination of words to you, what do you think about?
Mark Cunningham: I’m thinking about buddies. I mean, I have female friends who like to watch football with me. I have female friends who like to hang out and run errands with me on Saturday. I have female friends who like to have me come over and we will both cook dinner together. I mean, there are all kinds of things that I do with these girls, and there is a certain, what, what’s the word, a persona, a little zing of excitement, because there is always that possibility. But I’m not pursuing them and I don’t know a lot of them to pursue me.
Well, I can just enjoy being a man around them. They could enjoy being a woman around me, and it’s just understood the don’t poach on those friendships. I mean, you basically don’t want to screw up a friendship with one of your guy friends, why would you want to screw up a friendship with one of your girl friends?
Instead maybe you should listen to what she says and look around and realize that there are untold billions other women walking around, many of them will probably be interested in you if you just got out of your own way.
Frank: I got an open ended question for you here, Mark.
Mark Cunningham: Yeah.
Frank: No holds barred, without having to mention any specific names, what is your opinion of the modern seduction community?
Mark Cunningham: Well, it’s amazingly lucrative, isn’t it? I mean, it appears to be huge. It appears to be an unceasing demand for advice to guys on how to handle this whole seduction thing.
I find it kind of surprising. I find many of the approaches that I’ve seen out there are very mechanistic. They seemed to be not only techniques that you do to women. The more advanced ones are things that you do with women or they are phrased as you do these things with women.
But for the most part, they appear to be designed to recreate in you the kind of person that the instructor is, to recreate within your current life the life experience of the seduction instructor. It’s like they are out there trying to clone themselves and say, “If you do these things, well, then you will experience my level of success.”
Well, it’s kind of like watching these late night real estate seminars on TV, “If you just follow my magical plan, you too can live on a beach in Maui.” Well, maybe you can, but there is a very low probability of desirable outcome. I don’t see enough of what I think actually works which is help on changing yourself to be the kind of guy that women find attractive.
Frank: You talk a lot about this in your work, and we are going to get back to this. Sorry, I’m getting the signal we got to go to commercial.
Mark Cunningham: Okay.
Frank: When we come back, I would like you to talk about some of your transformation work.
Mark Cunningham: Oh, sure.
Frank: All right, you’re listening to Frank Talks Pleasures and Lifestyles.
[Commercial Break from 00:07:08 to end of audio]
End Of Part 3